Many people who grew up going to church or who regularly attend church now are familiar with the book of Genesis and the life of Abraham. For the most part, people have a positive impression of Abraham. However, there are a couple passages in Genesis that tell us about occasions when Abraham and Sarah pretended to be siblings, with the result that Sarah was taken into another man’s house. These passages are very perplexing to a lot of Christians because it seems odd that a man would do that and allow another man to take his wife.
Within evangelicalism, there are essentially three criticisms leveled against Abraham regarding this. The first is he allowed another man to take his wife from him. The second is he was dishonest. The third is he didn’t trust God.
In some ways, the conventional wisdom is understandable. However, the details of these passages tell us the conventional wisdom is wrong. We should actually look at Abraham’s actions very differently.
Watch the video to learn more or scroll down to read the transcript.
Transcript:
Many people who grew up going to church or who regularly attend church now are familiar with the book of Genesis and the life of Abraham. For the most part, people have a positive impression of Abraham. However, there are a couple passages in Genesis that tell us about occasions when Abraham and Sarah pretended to be siblings, with the result that Sarah was taken into another man’s house. These passages are very perplexing to a lot of Christians because it seems odd that a man would do that and allow another man to take his wife.
Within evangelicalism, there are essentially three criticisms leveled against Abraham regarding this. The first is he allowed another man to take his wife from him. The second is he was dishonest. The third is he didn’t trust God.
In some ways, the conventional wisdom is understandable. However, the details of these passages tell us the conventional wisdom is wrong. We should actually look at Abraham’s actions very differently.
There are three passages in the Bible where this happened. The first two are about Abraham and Sarah. The third one is about Isaac and Rebecca. There was also an occasion when Isaac and Rebecca pretended to be siblings. Let’s look at these three passages and see what the Bible says. As we go along, I’ll explain how we can think about these occasions in a way that is not so perplexing.
The first passage is Genesis 12. Abraham was around 75 years old. He had just recently migrated from Haran into Canaan. Let’s read Genesis 12, starting in verse 10.
Gen. 12:10 Now there was a famine in the land; so Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. 11 It came about when he came near to Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, “See now, I know that you are a beautiful woman; 12 and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife’; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 “Please say that you are my sister so that it may go well with me because of you, and that I may live on account of you.”
The first thing I want to point out about this passage is that in their culture, apparently adultery was worse than murder. That is very different from our culture.
In our culture murder is illegal, but adultery is not. In our culture murder has grave legal consequences. A murderer can go to jail or perhaps be put to death. However, an adulterer will not go to jail or be given the death penalty. There might be civil consequences for committing adultery, but an adulterer will not be criminally prosecuted. In our culture, murder is worse than adultery.
However, it appears in their culture it was the opposite. When Abraham entered Egypt, he knew the Egyptians would not dare commit adultery. If the Egyptians knew Abraham and Sarah were married, they would not dare take Sarah while Abraham was alive. However, apparently they would have no reservations about killing Abraham and then taking Sarah. That tells me that in their culture adultery was worse than murder.
Abraham and Sarah pretended to be brother and sister because Abraham was afraid of being killed. Abraham knew that if the Egyptians saw that Sarah was beautiful, wanted her, and knew that Sarah was married to Abraham, then the Egyptians would know that the only way for them to get Sarah would be to kill Abraham because they would not dare commit adultery. Abraham believed his life was at risk because he thought they would want Sarah and they would kill him to get Sarah.
Abraham and Sarah thought they were protecting Abraham by pretending to be siblings, because if the Egyptians thought that Abraham and Sarah were siblings, then the Egyptians would have the mindset that they would allow Abraham and Sarah to live among them and they would do whatever was appropriate in their culture to try and gain Sarah as a wife. Whether that was wooing Sarah, paying a dowry to Abraham, or whatever that looked like, the Egyptians would have believed that since Abraham and Sarah were siblings, they would be able to get Sarah as a wife without having to kill Abraham.
Meanwhile, Abraham and Sarah’s plan was to go into Egypt, pretend to be siblings, and rebuff all the efforts by the Egyptians to gain Sarah as a wife. Abraham and Sarah probably thought they could continue their ruse until the famine was over and they could leave Egypt.
Evangelicals criticize Abraham for being dishonest. They say that Abraham essentially lied in order to protect his life. However, many Christians believe in the right to self-defense. In other words, if someone is trying to kill you, it’s okay to kill that person in order to protect yourself. If it’s okay to kill someone in order to protect your life, then why would it not be okay to lie in order to protect your life? I don’t know that there’s necessarily an easy answer to that question, but I think if we’re going to believe in the right of self-defense, then perhaps we should not be so quick to criticize Abraham when he lied in order to protect his life.
Critics also say that Abraham showed that he didn’t trust God. Since Abraham knew that Yahweh had promised that he was going to have a son, then Abraham should have assumed that God would protect him without having to lie. That’s true to an extent. However, just because God can protect us doesn’t mean we as humans should not be prudent in how we live our lives. For example, God is able to protect us when we cross the street. However, that does not mean we should cross the street without first looking both ways to see if any vehicles are coming down the street.
Here is another thought in regards to this idea that Abraham was not trusting Yahweh even though Abraham knew that Yahweh had given those promises to him. There are many missionaries who travel to limited access countries. They are not always honest about what they’re doing. They don’t go into those limited access countries and tell them what they’re really planning to do.
Why are they not honest? They’re not honest because they’re afraid of being jailed or killed. Does that mean the missionaries don’t trust God? If the missionaries are going to that country because they believe they’ve been called by God to go to that country as a missionary, then should they assume they can be open about what they are doing and God will protect them? Again, there are not easy answers to these questions. However, if we’re going to criticize Abraham for telling a lie in order to protect his life even though Yahweh made a promise to him, then we also have to criticize all these missionaries who go to limited access countries and hide their true intent.
Let’s resume reading at verse 14.
14 It came about when Abram came into Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. 15 Pharaoh’s officials saw her and praised her to Pharaoh; and the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. 16 Therefore he treated Abram well for her sake; and gave him sheep and oxen and donkeys and male and female servants and female donkeys and camels.
One of the criticisms of Abraham is that he gave his wife to another man in order to protect himself. However, that is not correct. Verse 15 says Sarah was taken into Pharaoh’s house. The text is not clear if and how much force was used. When it says Sarah was taken, does that mean Pharaoh sent soldiers or armed men to take Sarah? If so, then Abraham had no choice but to allow Sarah to be taken. Abraham had armed men in his household, but I assume he did not have as many armed men as Pharaoh had. Abraham was not as powerful as Pharaoh. If Pharaoh wanted to take Sarah, there wasn’t anything Abraham could do to stop it.
Even if Pharaoh had sent unarmed men to take Sarah, Abraham still knew he was not powerful enough to stop Pharaoh from taking Sarah. Abraham would have known that Pharaoh could send armed men if Abraham refused to let the unarmed men take Sarah.
Some people might argue that at that point Abraham should have said that Sarah was his wife in order to protect her. However, Abraham was afraid of being killed. When Pharaoh’s men showed up to take Sarah, Abraham’s choice was not to allow Sarah to be taken or to reveal that she was his wife and prevent Sarah from being taken. Instead, his choice was to let Sarah be taken or to admit that Sarah was his wife and then be killed and Sarah would be taken anyway. Abraham did not have any choice. He had to allow Sarah to be taken into Pharaoh’s house.
Having said all that, let’s go back to this idea that Abraham gave his wife to another man in order to protect himself. In other words, he sacrificed Sarah’s well-being in order to protect his own well-being. That criticism is based on the belief that it is wrong for a male to put a female at risk in order to protect himself.
However, the reality is our culture does this a lot. We have female police officers and female soldiers. When females serve in combat or as police officers, they are putting their lives on the line in order to protect males.
Suppose a 50-year-old male homeowner arrives home and suspects there’s an intruder in his house. He knows he might get killed if he confronts the intruder, so he calls the police because that’s what the police are for. They’re trained to deal with those situations. Now suppose a 30-year-old female police officer shows up at the house of this 50-year-old male. At that point, the 30-year-old female police officer is supposed to enter the house and take the risk of being killed by the intruder in order to clear the house and protect the life of the 50-year-old man. That’s not much different than Abraham sacrificing Sarah’s well-being in order to protect his own life, if indeed that was what Abraham did. Let’s keep reading at verse 17.
Gen. 12:17 But the LORD struck Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. 18 Then Pharaoh called Abram and said, “What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife? 19 “Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her for my wife? Now then, here is your wife, take her and go.” 20 Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him; and they escorted him away, with his wife and all that belonged to him.
Gen. 13:1 So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, he and his wife and all that belonged to him, and Lot with him.
Yahweh intervened and protected Sarah. Some people might think that since Pharaoh did not kill Abraham at that point, that Abraham’s fear of being killed was wrong. However, Yahweh had struck Pharaoh, so Pharaoh was afraid. Just because Pharaoh did not kill Abraham at that point doesn’t mean Pharaoh would not have killed Abraham before Yahweh struck Pharaoh.
Let’s go to the second passage. This was about 24 years later. Abraham was now 99 years old. Let’s read Genesis chapter 20, starting at verse 1.
Gen. 20:1 Now Abraham journeyed from there toward the land of the Negev, and settled between Kadesh and Shur; then he sojourned in Gerar. 2 Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” So Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah.
This is similar to when Abraham entered Egypt. Abraham and Sarah pretended to be siblings. Notice that Abimelech, the king of Gerer, took Sarah. Abraham had armed men, but they probably would have been outnumbered by the armed men of Abimelech. Abraham had no choice but to allow Sarah to be taken. Let’s resume reading at verse 3.
Gen. 20:3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream of the night, and said to him, “Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married.” 4 Now Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, “Lord, will You slay a nation, even though blameless? 5 “Did he not himself say to me, ‘She is my sister’? And she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ In the integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands I have done this.” 6 Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this, and I also kept you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her. 7 “Now therefore, restore the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours.”
Yahweh intervened and protected Sarah. Verse 4 tells us Abimelech had not come near Sarah. Verse 6 tells us Yahweh kept Abimelech away from Sarah. As I said, the conventional wisdom criticizes Abraham for what he did, but what jumps out at me here in this passage is that Yahweh did not criticize Abraham. In fact, Yahweh said Abraham would pray for Abimelech so that Abimelech would live.
Gen. 20:8 So Abimelech arose early in the morning and called all his servants and told all these things in their hearing; and the men were greatly frightened. 9 Then Abimelech called Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? And how have I sinned against you, that you have brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? You have done to me things that ought not to be done.” 10 And Abimelech said to Abraham, “What have you encountered, that you have done this thing?” 11 Abraham said, “Because I thought, surely there is no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife. 12 “Besides, she actually is my sister, the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife; 13 and it came about, when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, that I said to her, ‘This is the kindness which you will show to me: everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’”
In verse 8 we see the men were frightened. They were frightened because Abimelech had almost committed adultery. In verse 9 Abimelech described this as a great sin. He accused Abraham of doing something that ought not to be done. That was because in their culture adultery was completely unthinkable.
Some people might agree with Abimelech and blame Abraham for doing something that ought not to be done. However, Abimelech was at fault. Abimelech was the one who took someone he was not entitled to take. Just because Abraham said Sarah was his sister did not give Abimelech permission to take Sarah.
Now notice verse 13. Abraham said to Sarah, “Everywhere we go, say of me, ‘He is my brother.’” This tells me that Abraham and Sarah pretending to be siblings is not something that only happened these two times that we see recorded in Genesis. This is something they did frequently.
I assume that most of the time their ruse worked. They went into an area, they pretended to be siblings, and the locals allowed Abraham and Sarah to live among them as siblings. Perhaps some people tried to gain Sarah as a wife and Abraham and Sarah rebuffed those attempts. Then eventually Abraham and Sarah moved on. They did that frequently.
However, what happened in two places, Egypt and Gerar, is that this ruse did not work and Sarah was taken. This is one reason I believe Abraham did not think he was sacrificing Sarah in order to protect himself when they pretended to be siblings. He expected that he and Sarah would be allowed to live amongst these foreigners as siblings because that plan had worked many times. When he entered Egypt, and then Gerar, he assumed it would work again. Let’s keep reading at verse 14.
Gen. 20:14 Abimelech then took sheep and oxen and male and female servants, and gave them to Abraham, and restored his wife Sarah to him. 15 Abimelech said, “Behold, my land is before you; settle wherever you please.” 16 To Sarah he said, “Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver; behold, it is your vindication before all who are with you, and before all men you are cleared.” 17 Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech and his wife and his maids, so that they bore children. 18 For the LORD had closed fast all the wombs of the household of Abimelech because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.
Abraham prayed for Abimelech and then God healed Abimelech and his women. This reinforces the idea that Yahweh did not think Abraham did anything wrong. Yahweh did not criticize Abraham in this, and it was Abraham who prayed in order for Abimelech and his household to be healed.
Now let’s go to the third passage. This is about Isaac and Rebecca. This is at least 40 years after Abraham and Sarah went to Gerar. It could be as many as 80 years later. Let’s start reading chapter 26 at verse one.
Gen. 26:1 Now there was a famine in the land, besides the previous famine that had occurred in the days of Abraham. So Isaac went to Gerar, to Abimelech king of the Philistines. 2 The LORD appeared to him and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; stay in the land of which I shall tell you. 3 “Sojourn in this land and I will be with you and bless you, for to you and to your descendants I will give all these lands, and I will establish the oath which I swore to your father Abraham. 4 “I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven, and will give your descendants all these lands; and by your descendants all the nations of the earth shall be blessed; 5 because Abraham obeyed Me and kept My charge, My commandments, My statutes and My laws.”
Gen. 26:6 So Isaac lived in Gerar. 7 When the men of the place asked about his wife, he said, “She is my sister,” for he was afraid to say, “my wife,” thinking, “the men of the place might kill me on account of Rebekah, for she is beautiful.” 8 It came about, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out through a window, and saw, and behold, Isaac was caressing his wife Rebekah.
Just as Abraham and Sarah had done, Isaac and Rebecca pretended to be siblings. The reason was the same. Isaac was afraid of being killed.
In verse eight we see that Isaac and Rebecca lived there a long time. In other words, when Isaac and Rebecca entered Gerar, they pretended to be siblings, Rebecca was not taken out of Isaac’s household, and they lived there a long time. I point this out because that is what Abraham expected would happen when he and Sarah pretended to be siblings.
This tells me Abraham and Isaac did not intentionally put their wives at risk. They did not intend for their wives to be taken into another man’s house. They did not think there was even a risk that their wives would be taken. When they and their wives pretended to be siblings, they thought they would be able to live as siblings, rebuff anyone who wanted to marry either Sarah or Rebekah, and then when the famine was over they would move on. Let’s resume reading at verse 9.
9 Then Abimelech called Isaac and said, “Behold, certainly she is your wife! How then did you say, ‘She is my sister’?” And Isaac said to him, “Because I said, ‘I might die on account of her.’” 10 Abimelech said, “What is this you have done to us? One of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.” 11 So Abimelech charged all the people, saying, “He who touches this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.
In this case Yahweh did not have to intervene. Abimelech himself extended protection to Isaac and Rebecca.
The details of these three passages show we need to change the conventional wisdom on these passages. Abraham is criticized for allowing Sarah to be taken by another man. However, that is not what Abraham did. Abraham believed that when he and Sarah pretended to be siblings, he and Sarah would be allowed to live as siblings. He had no idea the ruler would come and take Sarah from him. When the ruler took Sarah, Abraham had to allow it because the ruler was more powerful than Abraham.
Abraham and Isaac are also criticized for being dishonest. However, they believed they were in danger of being killed. Is it wrong to be dishonest in order to protect yourself?
Sometimes when there is a mass shooting, people pretend to already be dead in order to protect themselves from being killed. If they do that, they are being dishonest. Is that wrong? Is that any different than what Abraham and Isaac did?
Finally, Abraham is criticized for not trusting God. The argument is that since God had promised that Sarah would have a son for Abraham, then Abraham should have known that God would not allow anyone to kill him. That’s true. However, that doesn’t mean that Abraham could live recklessly and not be prudent in how he lived his life. Many Christians today believe that our life on earth will end exactly when God wants it to end. However, that doesn’t mean we can live recklessly and jump off cliffs, assuming that God will protect us if it is not our time to die. The same is true for Abraham. Even though he had his promises from God, it was still wise for him to live prudently and protect himself when possible.
Here is one final thought. Perhaps God used these occasions to strengthen Abraham’s faith. Try to picture this from Abraham’s perspective. Abraham knew that God had promised to give him a son via Sarah. He also knew he was traveling among people who may kill him. Abraham and Sarah traveled into Gerar and pretended to be siblings so that Abraham would not be killed. But then Abimelech took Sarah from Abraham. At that point, Abraham was helpless and had no choice but to trust that God would protect Sarah. Perhaps these stories are in the Bible to remind us that we are not in control of our lives. God is.
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